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Title : Scared of the Dark (The Door’s Wide Open) [2/?]
Author : Tabi [ ipanicdaily ]
Pairing[s] : William/Gabe, William/Travis, Brendon/Ryan, Nate/Alex, Ryland/Victoria (Pete/Patrick, Frank/Gerard)
Rating : NC-17
Summary : Three years have passed since William threw his old life away to stay in Hawaii. Things haven’t exactly turned out how William expected them to, and now each day is a struggle as he tries not to crumble beneath his own mind.
P.O.V. : 3rd; William-centric
Warnings : language, mild violence, mental disorders (nothing severe though), attempted suicide
Disclaimer : well, WE ALL KNOW GABILLIAM IS REAL. But unlike that, this story is not. William has a daughter, but her name is not Kaedance, nor does she have AIDs (to my knowledge.) And she’s not Travis’ (she’s Gabes).
Title taken from Loverboy by You Me At Six
Beta : telyse
Additional Notes : Takes place 2 years after the epilogue to Two Weeks In Hawaii .
Authors Comments : shitty update is shitty.

Past Parts: PrologueChapter One




At first when they had reached William’s house after a long from the hospital, in which Gabe tried friendly conversation and William tried his best not to push him in front of a car, William wouldn’t let Gabe inside. He unlocked the door and let himself in but slammed the door in Gabe’s face when he tried to follow; turning the porch on for Gabe when it started to get dark because William wasn’t a total asshole.

And eventually William even opened the door, tired of Gabe’s constant knocking (and Ryan’s continuous texts to do so) as William wasn’t to be alone. Gabe sat on the porch steps, first talking through the door to William until the man turned the television on and cranked the volume over him, then took to softly singing and humming to himself as the night grew cold.

Sometime close to midnight, William took pity on Gabe and let him inside. “Couch, kitchen, bathroom.” William pointed to each as he spoke. “Don’t go anywhere else.” Gabe looked around the space, taking it in. “My room’s at the end of the hall. Don’t go anywhere near it, okay?”

Gabe turned to grin at him lazily. “Don’t give me a reason to, Cupcake.” William narrowed his eyes at the nickname, causing Gabe’s grin to extend further, but bit back a comment and instead went to get a pillow and blanket – throwing them hard enough to knock Gabe back a few steps.

“I’m going to bed,” William informed after.

“Alright,” Gabe answered simply, adjusting himself and the bedding into a comfortable position.

William walked over to the front door to shut and lock it, crossing back through the living room and dropping the television remote onto Gabe’s chest. “Just keep the volume down,” he muttered in passing.

“No goodnight kiss?” Gabe teased.

“Fuck you,” William called back over Gabe’s laughter.

Gabe turned the television on and crossed his ankles, yelling, “Keep your door open!” just in time to hear the wood slam against the molding. William wasn’t stupid. He wasn’t going to slip again. Especially not when he had a damn babysitter watching his every move.

However, William wasn’t giving up his privacy. He gave in and let Gabe into his home against his urge to keep him out, and he even gave Gabe a pillow and blanket and access to the bathroom and kitchen like he would any other guest. William had every right to be alone in his own bedroom with his thoughts without two deep brown eyes glued to him. Gabe and Ryan and Brendon could at least give him that.

William collapsed tiredly onto his bed without so much as removing his socks. He grabbed his pillow and hugged it close to his body, staring at the closet doors opposite him and listening to the soft noises of the television down the hall. Things had gotten wildly out of control lately and William wondered where exactly his life had gotten so twisted around.

He felt out of place without tucking Kaedance into bed and reading her a story. Ryan and Brendon had taken her for the night before, usually the first night Travis was back home, but now it felt wrong. He hadn’t seen or talked to his little girl in days and all William wanted was to sweep her into his arms and hold her close. Kaedance gave the best hugs, and William missed that.

Then, of course, there was the worrying about her health. William couldn’t chase away the thoughts that Kade would suddenly get sick and he wouldn’t be there for her. That she would get hospitalized and no one would tell him, though he knew deep down no fight between him and Brendon would ever cause Brendon to keep such an event from William. Or at least William hoped.

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been lying there before the door slowly opened, letting the hall light stream in. William squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his face into the pillow to hide from the sudden attack on his retinae, stopping himself from yelling at Gabe as the man quietly entered his room. “Oh Bilvy,” Gabe sighed, standing a foot from the bed, “You’ve changed so much.”

William bit his tongue to stay silent, not moving a muscle in hopes Gabe would mistake him asleep and leave again. Instead, Gabe draped a blanket over William’s shoulders – the same one William had given him – and tucked it around his body. The bed dipped slightly as Gabe sat down, fingers lightly brushing along the exposed part of William’s arm until it collided with the smooth band of his watch.

Carefully, Gabe pulled William’s wrist free so he could remove the watch. “If I could take back the pain I caused you, I would in a heartbeat. Make it so I was here for you the past few years.” He got the watch free and slid it from William’s wrist, laying his hand back down on the bed. “No matter how hard you push me, I won’t leave you. Not again.”

William’s breath caught between his lungs and throat as he listened to Gabe, letting his body be moved by the older man like liquid. The bed shifted when Gabe leaned over to place the watch on the nightstand, moving again as he came back. William’s body tensed when Gabe’s fingers ghosted through his hair – the movement so light it was like Gabe was afraid to touch him at all.

Gabe only combed his fingers through William’s hair a couple of times before standing up and adjusting the blanket some more. “I hope you at least find some peace in your sleep,” Gabe told him with another little sigh. He leaned down to kiss the side of William’s head like he used to when he’d come home too early in the morning and William was long since asleep.

“Te amo,” Gabe whispered so quietly that William almost didn’t catch it, and left as smoothly as he had entered. William focused on the soft footsteps fading away down the hall and then the television turn off, shoving the blanket off to the floor. His heart wasn’t racing, but William could feel every pounding beat against his chest.

Gabe shouldn’t love him. He wasn’t Gabe’s to love anymore. Gabe shouldn’t even be there anymore. He was part of a time and a life William left behind the day he chose to be with Travis. It wasn’t fair of Ryan to call him and bring him back into William’s life suddenly. Ryan had no right.

None of them did.

William grabbed his pillow and started beating it against his bed until his arms ached and he grew too heavy to move. He didn’t know he was crying until the warm teas dropped from his face to his arms, and he collapsed back down. He didn’t understand what was happening anymore, why he felt so angry and betrayed and alone. There were so many people around him that loved him. So many people offering help and support.

Yet all William wanted was for everyone to just go away.

When William calmed down enough, he got off his bed and grabbed the blanket on the floor, peering down the hall. All the lights were off and it was too silent for Gabe to still be awake. William walked to the living room and placed the blanket over Gabe; taking the same care with it as Gabe had him.

“You don’t belong here,” William mumbled to the sleeping man. He stood and headed for the door, slipping outside into the cool air. He wrapped his arms around himself and dropped his head down, walking barefoot and cold down the street towards the water crashing against the shore.

*∞*∞*∞*∞*∞*∞*∞*∞*

For the first time in days, William’s mind was actually calm while he slept – waking up In a near panic at the feel of icy water an angry, “Wake up, Princess!” William jolted up and coughed out little droplets that slipped into his throat, rubbing wet strands of hair from his face.

William cracked his eyes open, squinting instantly at the bright rays of sunshine that bombarded him, and blinked the sleep away to see clearly. Standing by him was Gabe; arms crossed over his chest and expression entirely pissed off. “Has sleep walking become one of your sudden habits, or did you stupidly wander out here in the middle of the night? Because I definitely could have done without the near aneurism of trying to figure out where the fuck you went!”

“I’m a big boy now, Gabriel,” William replied in a scoff. “I didn’t talk to any strangers and stayed away from the road.”

Gabe kicked sand at him. “You think this is a fuckin’ joke?!” Gabe yelled. Some seagulls nearby took off with a round of squawks. William spit out the sand that got into his mouth and glared.

“I think you babysitting me is, yeah,” he snapped in reply. “You even being here is a fucking joke! You care about yourself, and yourself only! The only fucking reason you’re here is because you feel guilty for hitting me that night at Brendon’s! That you broke poor, helpless little William and now you need to fix him to make yourself feel better To feed your own goddamn ego!” William scooped up a handful of sand and threw it at Gabe. “I don’t need yours or anybody’s fucking help because I’m not broken! So go back to wherever the fuck you came from and leave me the fuck alone!”

Gabe uncrossed his arms and bent down to grab William’s arm before he had a chance to throw more sand. When William brought his free hand up to try and get free, Gabe grabbed that one as well and held tight enough to bruise. “Are you done feeling sorry for yourself?” Gabe’s face was mere inches from William’s. “Because you’ve done nothing but give yourself a fucking pity party the past few days and it’s quite old now.”

William tried to struggle free, but Gabe’s grip on him was too strong, so he turned his head away. “I’m here because I’m worried about you, you selfish, moronic asshole. I’m here because your friends are all worried about you. And I’m here because your self-righteous boyfriend isn’t!”

Gabe’s grip loosed a little, though not enough to allow William to escape. “I don’t give a fuck if you don’t want my or anybody’s help because you need it, and you’re going to get it. So you can either suck it up and cooperate or make this entirely miserable for everyone, because intentional or not, you almost killed yourself the other day. And I’ll be damned if I let it happen again.”

“You’re hurting me,” William muttered and instantly Gabe’s hands released him. William rubbed at the area’s where Gabe’s fingers had dug into his flesh, certain it wasn’t going to result in any marks, though tender all the same.

“Gabe,” a call came from the top of the small hill that lead up to the road, and both men turned towards the voice. Ryan was there, dressed in his usual dressy-casual attire that William believed leaped right out of some vintage catalog and onto his tiny frame. “Why don’t you head back to Bill’s now,” Ryan called down to them, “And William, you’re coming with me.” William scowled but pushed himself up anyway because at the moment, anything was better than a second longer with Gabe.

Gabe exhaled frustration and stood as well, following a few steps behind William. “Don’t look so smug,” Ryan commented to William as the pair approached. “You’re spending the day with Bren.”

“No fucking way.” William stopped where he was.

“Sorry, but I work.” Ryan shrugged before addressing him with a scolding, “And I have a child in my car so watch your language, please.” Giggles followed Ryan’s words and William looked around him to see Amelia grinning and waving from within. “So, it’s either Brendon or Gabe. Pick your poison, and pick it fast, because I have to get Mia to school and myself to work.”

William huffed and shoved his damp bangs behind his ears. He shoved past Ryan towards the car, not missing the look of hurt on Gabe’s face when he briefly glanced back. “Do you want a ride?” Ryan asked Gabe as William hauled himself into the car.

“I think I’ll walk,” Gabe replied. “Get to know the area,” his gaze shifted to William, “Since I’ll be around awhile.” Ryan slowly nodded then bid him farewell and went for the driver’s side as Gabe went out of his way to start back for William’s house.

“Why are you all wet, Uncle Bill?” Mia asked from the back. “It’s too early for swimming!”

“I fell in,” William answered, forcing a smile and tone that was in no way mirroring his actual feelings.

“Why is Gabe here?” Mia continued. “I thought he went back to Vegas long ago.”

Before William could open his mouth, Ryan answered, “He’s visiting.” He started for Mia’s school. “He did leave for Vegas a while ago. But now he lives in New York with Uncle Alex and Uncle Nate.” This was news to William and even he couldn’t keep the surprise from his face. “And what did your Uncle Brendon tell you, young lady?”

“To stop asking so many questions because it’s not my business and I’m too nosy,” she recited. “How come Uncle Alex and Uncle Nate didn’t come visit too?”

“They have their restaurant to look after.” When Ryan saw William involuntarily shiver he reached for the heat in the car despite the warm temperature outside. “Stop asking questions, Mia.”

“How long has Gabe been in the city?” It was William’s turn to be nosy. Ryan sighed, rubbing his palms roughly along the sides of the steering wheel.

“I don’t know, two or three years? It wasn’t long after leaving here that summer.” He wouldn’t make eye contact. Partially because he was driving, but mostly because the tension was more than obvious. “Alex got him out of some trouble then brought him back to stay with him and Nate, and apparently that went really well. Gabe cleaned up, stopped partying all the time and started working at the restaurant. Even started seeing someone, though I’m not sure if they’re still together.”

William slid down in his seat. His life went to hell while Gabe climbed out of it. Things were supposed to be the other way. Gabe abused William. He should be the one to have misery.

“He’s a different man now,” Ryan said, pulling into the parking lot of Amelia’s school. “Try to stop focusing on what he did years ago, and give him a chance to show you what he’s capable of now.” Ryan unbuckled as Mia jumped out of the car.

“Bye Uncle Bill!” she called with a wave. “Hope you feel better!” Amelia took Ryan’s hand and walked with him to the door because no matter how safe the area may be, Ryan still couldn’t bring himself to let her go anywhere alone.

*∞*∞*∞*∞*∞*∞*∞*∞*

William barely got out of Ryan’s car before Ryan was speeding away to get to the high school on time. He stared at Brendon’s big house a few minutes before dreadfully heading up to the front door and knocking just to be polite before letting himself in. The house was unusually quiet, William was used to someone’s voice coming from somewhere at any given time, and he called, “Brendon? Y’here?” though he knew he was.

At his voice, Bambi came bounding towards him with her tail going a million miles an hour. She ran excitedly around his ankles, sniffing and panting and staring up at him for attention. They had taught Bambi not to jump on people but William could tell the dog was dying to scale him, so he patted his leg to give her permission.

She quickly rose onto her back paws and pushed her front ones into William’s knee. “Where’s your other daddy?” William asked with a genuine smile, scratching at the top of Bambi’s head. Who could stay mad when there’s an adorable dog to pet? “Huh? Where is he?” William got onto his knees and took Bambi’s face into his hands, fingers scratching right behind her ears. “You’re such a good girl, yes you are.” His voice became childish.

Bambi started frantically licking William’s face as she pulled herself right into his lap demanding all his attention. “Who’s a good girl? You’re a good girl, Bambi. Yes you are. You’re a good girl.”

“I’m not quite sure who’s taking advantage of who down there,” William suddenly looked up and saw Brendon leaning against the railing of the second floor, “But I do have a spare room, if you’d like it.”

“I was just saying ‘hello’,” William mumbled, standing and causing Bambi to start whining impatiently. “I was told you’re my keep for the day,” he said, brushing himself off and looking up. “Am I even allowed to be here?”

“She’s with Vicky and Ryland,” Brendon answered simply.

“Does Gabe know?”

“Not unless you’ve told him.” Brendon’s facial expression remained unreadable. “You’re not ready to see her yet. And Vicky hasn’t seen her in while and gladly took her for the day.”

“So you’ve made my daughter into something to be passed from person to person as long as I’m nowhere around?” William crossed his arms.

“I’m not going to fight with you, Bill,” Brendon sighed heavily. “You don’t want to be with me today? Fine. I’ll take you back to Gabe. And if you can’t be there, I’ll take to you to the clinic until you decide who you can tolerate without creating an unnecessary war because right now we’re just going in circles, and it’s wasting energy.” Brendon rubbed his face, obviously exhausted and a mere flicker of his usual self.

“So,” Brendon stood straight, “What do you want, William?” His tired eyes met William’s and William exhaled loudly because honestly, he was pretty exhausted himself. And out of everyone, William was most comfortable with Brendon. They were best friends. Brothers. William would always be comfortable with Brendon regardless of any fight or disagreement.

And even some part of William knew his daughter was safest in Brendon’s care. Safer than with William.

“I’ll stay here,” William finally replied in a defeated kind of tone. A small trace of warmth and happiness poked at Brendon’s face.

“I’ve got some errands to take care of,” Brendon informed. “Take a shower and change while I finish up some stuff.” He disappeared from William’s view before the man could answer.

William was definitely willing to take a shower. His body and probably his hair were crusted in the sand he not only fell asleep in, but also from Gabe kicking at him as well.

With Bambi happily trailing behind him, William made his way towards the guest room where his spare clothes were kept, and then to the downstairs shower to wash away the rocky morning.







A/N -- Short, crappy chapter is short and crappy, and I know and I'm sorry and ugh. People have been up my bum for this so I got it out. I intended it to be longer, but I don't have the chance right now to add onto it, so I figured have something youvultures and I'll (hopefully) make the next bit a lot better.

Take in all the Brendon/Ryan moments when they come too, because shortly this story is going to take on a fun twist.

xx Tabi

Comments

( 3 Love Notes — Write a Line of Love )
harlie_quin
Apr. 30th, 2012 08:35 am (UTC)
OH LOVE.
Well, I waited long enough for it, I guess but awwwies ♥ it's great. I totally love Gabe. And I'm sure Bill loves him as well somewhere deep down in his heart. Always loved him. He can bitch about it as much as he wants in the end he will be happy with Gabey and have his babies. Healthy, super cute & cuddly babies with dark eyes and dark hair and did I meantion that they were perfectly healthy.

Okay, I need to say one more thing about your comment.
"Take in all the Brendon/Ryan moments when they come too, because shortly this story is going to take on a fun twist."
I'm not quite sure what this is supposed to mean BUT IF YOU ARE GOING TO SEPERATE BRENNY AND RYRO I WILL BE ALL SADDY WADDY AND PROBABLY DIE. I'm sorry, I just get so emotional when it comes to fan fiction. Especially yours because I love it so much and because TWIH was such a long and beautiful story I feel specially connected with each character. Well, not so much with Travis but anyway.

Well, I hope the next chapter won't take two months because I can't waaaait. You shouldn't worry to much about the length because it's okay like that.

I think I said enough and I still need to spam you on tumblr. Puh, being your fangirl is such a tough job.

Love, Sue
ipanicdaily
Apr. 30th, 2012 04:20 pm (UTC)
Gabe aint givin up on William any time soon and eventually William will come around. and he is not having his babies in this story x)

I aint doin anything to the Rydon so take a deep breath. They're just... gonna disappear.

I don't know why you like my shit, but thanks :) I'm probably mentally disturbed because I feel like I'm fighting with these guys half the time to get shit done

light a fire under my ass and Ill get shit done, I'm sure.

thanks for the comment and the reading <3

xx Tabi
harlie_quin
May. 1st, 2012 09:19 am (UTC)
I love this story so much. And TWIH. When people on tumblr ask for really good Ryden stories I always recommend yours.
And lucky you not doing anything to my babies. Are they disappearing with Kade? I'm still not sure what to think about her. I think she's probably cute as hell but hmmm...

Okay dear, you better are already working on the next chapter because I want a Gabilliam reunion before the world ends. And then I want my super special love love story which needs to be all fluffy and super cute and just awwwies. Got that? Great. <3
( 3 Love Notes — Write a Line of Love )